• Politics
Trump cancels Greenland invasion after learning the dog sled teams are "absolute Bad*** Motherf***ers"
Pentagon briefing reveals Sirius Patrol members undergo Navy SEAL training, NASA psychological conditioning
Politics
Local and state political satire from the Upstate
6 articles
• Politics
BREAKING: Trump Accidentally Purchases Iceland Instead of Greenland
Greenland, Iceland, And Denmark In Awkward Turmoil As Trump Insists He “Was Always Negotiating For Both”
• Politics
Nick Shirley Sent A Cameraman To Investigate Greenville Daycares After The Minnesota Fraud.
They found something else.
• Local
Masked Vigilante 'Hero 119' Exploits Loophole In Greenville's Anti-Lying-Down Ordinance
Mysterious figure naps on public benches for exactly 119 minutes before calmly relocating
• Local
Local Detective Vows To Release Complete Unredacted Epstein Files
Detective Dan, citing "the people's right to know," provides The Upstate Owl with exclusive documents
• Local
Unregistered Candidate Demands Recount In Travelers Rest Mayoral Race He Did Not Enter
Dan "Landslide" McCready claims Mayor Amidon "got lucky" despite his failure to file paperwork, live in city limits, or tell anyone he was running