In what political analysts are calling "the most unexpected election outcome since that time a dog became mayor of a town in California," a swan residing in Falls Park has been elected Mayor of Greenville.

The swan, known locally as "Gerald," ran on a platform of cleaner waterways, more bread crumbs for all, and aggressive hissing at anyone who threatens the downtown business district.

"I've been covering Greenville politics for 30 years," said local reporter Martha Henderson, "and I've never seen a candidate connect with voters quite like Gerald. When he spread his wings during the debate, you could feel the energy in the room."

Gerald's opponent, a human candidate whose name voters consistently forgot, conceded gracefully. "The people have spoken," he said, before being chased away from the podium by his victorious opponent.

The incoming administration has already announced plans to rename Main Street to "Swan Lane" and make it illegal to approach the Reedy River without offering a suitable tribute of breadcrumbs.

When reached for comment, Gerald honked twice and attempted to bite our reporter's notebook.